my first. my jake. my three year old.

my sweet jake,
i am sitting here looking at pictures of you, my sweet little man, and i cannot.even.believe that you are turning THREE years old today.
how is it even possible?
i remember the exact moment i found out i was going to have you---i was literally jumping up & down over & over in unimaginable excitement.
i remember the first time i got to see you on an ultrasound---tears started running down my cheeks and even in that first little glimpse of you & who you would be, i fell.in.love.with.you.in.an.instant.

i could not wait to hold you in my arms.
i remember crying to daddy, so many nights, saying, "i just have to meet him. i have to hold him. i just.can't.wait.anymore."
i remember the first time i saw you and all your amazingness---just seeing you for the first time took.my.breath.away.

i could not believe you were here.
i could not believe you were mine.
i was smitten.instantly.
i remember the first time i heard you cry in the hospital---i started crying at the sound of your sweet little sobs, because i wanted to be able to make everything perfect for you.
i have loved watching you grow into the little man you are today at three years old.
i had never felt such a love before in.my.entire.life.
i had never felt such concern.
i had never felt such anxiety.
you have changed my.entire.life.
you have made it unimaginably better than it ever was before we had you.


i love all your quirky ways.
i love how you make me laugh.
i love how intense you can be.
i love your sweet spirit.
i love how you can be so dramatic at times.
i love your ability to concentrate on something so intensely, it's difficult to get your attention.
i love how you love your babies, henry & william.
i love how make sticker creations for me...how you stack the stickers on top of eachother, until they make an enormous mound on the paper.
i love how you run so fast to the door when daddy gets home from work.
i love how you can act so silly at times.
i love how you are so passionate about the things you love & so passionate about the things that you don't.
i love that we are learning more about you everyday.

i.love.everything.about.you.