how am i supposed to ever stop kissing this face? these lips?
i look at him & every.single.time i have to.just.have.to smooch him...and sometimes i gotta linger there for just a little bit...i mean how can i not?
well...i need to learn a certain lesson...
do.not.linger.smooches.on.this.boy.for.a.long.time.after.he.eats.
lesson.learned.
it took 2 incidents for me to learn this lesson, but i think this mornings episode just slammed it home for me...
for the second time, this presh little amazing of mine projectile spit-up in my throat!
now, if he just spit-up in my mouth, it would be a bit easier to handle...it's the projectile part that makes it really go down my throat immediately.
not.pleasant.
now if you have never experienced the 'spit-up down the throat' event, it isn't an easy thing to get over---i mean, it takes a lot of work to get that taste out of one's mouth.
despite what you may swoosh around, despite what you may gargle with, it lingers.
given this morning, i am not surprised this would happen...
take each "funny" thing with a grain of salt, right?....which gives me a good idea---maybe gargling with salt will help....?....
here's to that working ;)

...just another day in the life of a stay-at-home mom... :)

thoughts from a mommy...

let me just be honest to say it...some.days.i.struggle.
there it is.
truth.written.

let me explain....
i don't struggle with feeling as though i do not exist from 7:30 am - 6:30 pm while sean is at work and i'm home with my 3 amazings...essentially, i don't exist.
it doesn't matter if i'm hungry.
it doesn't matter if i have a killer headache.
it doesn't matter if i want to sit at my computer and have fun on my design program.
it doesn't matter if i would like to engross myself in a book.
it doesn't matter if i'm exhausted after being up 5 times throughout the night.
my 3 boys don't care about any of that.
during those times, i don't really matter and i am more than ok with that.

i don't struggle with serving my 3 amazings all day.
that's my job.
i am here to serve them.
i am here to teach them.
i am here to discipline them.
i am here to enjoy them.
that is every mommy's job.

i don't struggle with being up to my elbows in diapers and dirty tiny hineys.
that is the place i am at in life with these precious little lives and i am perfectly ok with that.

i don't struggle with having to bring my trio of boys all upstairs in shifts and walking up & down the stairs a million times a day with the 3 of them in tow.
{let's be even a bit more honest...i need the exercise.}

BUT, here's what i do struggle with...
i struggle with hating the way i look.
i struggle with getting a teeny tiny bit frustrated when i can't shower in the morning.
i struggle with getting a teeny tiny bit upset that i don't have the time to put a bit of make-up on.
i struggle with getting a teeny tiny bit grossed out by the fact that i pretty much wear yoga pants every.single.day.
i struggle with the fact that i still have 12 stupid.ugly pounds to lose.
i struggle that i no longer have the time to make myself look nice before my sean gets home from work...it's a good day, if i don't have stains all over my clothes from the day or dried spit up somewhere on my face...i wouldn't know about it, because i never.look.in.the.mirror.
i struggle that i cannot be exactly what each amazing wants me to be in the exact moment that they want it.

but you know what i am learning and trying to embrace?...my three amazing boys don't care about any of that.
they don't care if mommy looks frazzled.
they don't care if mommy isn't wearing high-heels.
they don't care if my face doesn't have one bit of make-up on it.
they don't care if i have crusty spit up on my shoulder.
they don't care if i am not as thin as i use to be.
none.of.that.matters.to.them.
the only things that matter in their worlds every.single.day from 7:30 am-6:30pm when they are with their mommy, is that they feel loved.
that they feel special.
that they feel safe.
that their needs are taken care of.
that they have fun.
that's all.
nothing more.

i will embrace these years.
i will embrace everything that these years entail.
they are fleeting.
and i will continue to look forward to the weekends when i can actually shower in the morning, put make-up on, blow dry & style my hair, wear jeans & a nice shirt, & even
be wild & crazy enough to put on a necklace ;)

after all, what's more important?....mommy stealing time away from these amazings of mine, or clinging to each moment that i get to spend with them?
i would much rather have an extra 12 lbs on and have my boys look back at their lives with me as their mommy and remember all the fun things we did together.
remember those times when we acted crazy silly.
remember those times when we would run around the house acting like crazy scary animals.
remember all the creations we made together.
remember chasing each other around the house.

this.is.all.that.matters.

morning birthday celebration for my jake.

{talking to daddy who was in london on a business trip}

{one of the things my little man asked for was a watch...which he doesn't even like wearing...}

{jake's, "ok mommy, enough pictures" smile}

{and this is what henry was doing for most of the morning...}

{we bought some new "cool cars" for henry too...his new favorite thing to play with}

{one of jake's favorite new toys---schleich dinos---from his nana & papa}

{my.oldest.amazing.}

{william during the party doing his favorite new thing---blowing raspberries}

{jake wanted a pirate party, so a pirate party it was.}

{getting into the pirate mood}

{miss. meagan}

{birthday smooches with my THREE YEAR OLD}

my outside guy. my henry.

smitten.
i.am.completely.smitten.with.this.rugged.little.man.

my first. my jake. my three year old.

my sweet jake,
i am sitting here looking at pictures of you, my sweet little man, and i cannot.even.believe that you are turning THREE years old today.
how is it even possible?
i remember the exact moment i found out i was going to have you---i was literally jumping up & down over & over in unimaginable excitement.
i remember the first time i got to see you on an ultrasound---tears started running down my cheeks and even in that first little glimpse of you & who you would be, i fell.in.love.with.you.in.an.instant.

i could not wait to hold you in my arms.
i remember crying to daddy, so many nights, saying, "i just have to meet him. i have to hold him. i just.can't.wait.anymore."
i remember the first time i saw you and all your amazingness---just seeing you for the first time took.my.breath.away.

i could not believe you were here.
i could not believe you were mine.
i was smitten.instantly.
i remember the first time i heard you cry in the hospital---i started crying at the sound of your sweet little sobs, because i wanted to be able to make everything perfect for you.
i have loved watching you grow into the little man you are today at three years old.
i had never felt such a love before in.my.entire.life.
i had never felt such concern.
i had never felt such anxiety.
you have changed my.entire.life.
you have made it unimaginably better than it ever was before we had you.


i love all your quirky ways.
i love how you make me laugh.
i love how intense you can be.
i love your sweet spirit.
i love how you can be so dramatic at times.
i love your ability to concentrate on something so intensely, it's difficult to get your attention.
i love how you love your babies, henry & william.
i love how make sticker creations for me...how you stack the stickers on top of eachother, until they make an enormous mound on the paper.
i love how you run so fast to the door when daddy gets home from work.
i love how you can act so silly at times.
i love how you are so passionate about the things you love & so passionate about the things that you don't.
i love that we are learning more about you everyday.

i.love.everything.about.you.